"Thriving with Purpose"
Part 5 of a Series on Thriving
I am dying. This was a truth I hadn’t fully grasped until my cancer diagnosis. Since I believed death was imminent, I made sure to settle all my affairs. Doing so led me to understand that relationships are everything. On one’s death bed no one asks to see their diploma, their trophies, or their possessions one more time. They want to be surrounded by the people they care about. I already knew my first priority was to love the Lord by loving people, but impending death certainly served to energize my purpose.
Thankfully, my cancer went into remission, though I am just as vulnerable to shuffling off this mortal coil as I previously was. Sadly, some people wait so long to find their purpose and their passion that they miss getting off at “their stop” on the train of life. They spend their time staring out a smudged window while a vibrant, limitless world rushes by. They become distracted by shallow activities, drinks that deaden, and ubiquitous TV screens which are a pitiable substitute for a fulfilling life. It is bitterly ironic to wait to start living until you are dying.
To live a thriving life, whether you are battling cancer or in remission, you need to recognize you, too, have a purpose. According to Dr. Kelly Taylor, having a strong reason for living is one of the key factors found in people who experienced what she terms radical remission.* Having a purpose for living is stimulating to the immune system, so risk factors are lowered for illness. If you have a purpose, you will have a passion. You will want to use your knowledge or abilities to help others. Picasso expresses this thought succinctly: “The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.”
People need to identify purposes beyond themselves to make life feel worthwhile. In the book Being Mortal by Atul Gawande, M.D., he analyzes this need in nursing home settings. Even with a safe environment and all their physical needs met, patients were depressed. Dr. Gawande states: “We all require devotion to something more than ourselves for our lives to be endurable.” Not only does a purpose give our lives meaning, it gives death meaning. Dr. Gawande observes, “The only way death is not meaningless is to see yourself as part of something greater: a family, a community, a society.” Psychologists use the term “transcendence” to mean the “existence in people of a transcendent desire to see and help other beings achieve their potential.”
When I asked my friends what they perceived as their purpose in life, I got varying answers. Yet, in each reply the underlying motivation was love. Even if people didn’t use the word, love is exactly what they were describing. I heard answers involving relationships, family (especially children), making a difference, teaching, and benefiting society. Yet if any of those answers were distilled, they would become the sweet perfume of love. Making a difference in the lives of others (without expecting anything in return) is the path to enriching your life. An old proverb illustrates the beauty of this idea: “A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.”
In his book, The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren sums up life’s purpose. “The best use of life is love. Love should be your top priority, primary objective, and greatest ambition. The Bible says, ‘Let love be your greatest aim.’” (I Corinthians 14:1) Why should relationships be a priority above everything else in your life? Rick Warren explains: “Relationships, not achievement or the acquisition of things, are what matters most in life. The point of life is learning to love—God and people. As Mother Teresa said, ‘It’s not what you do, but how much love you put into it that matters.’”
If you are not sure of your purpose, analyze what you enjoy doing, then plan how to use your abilities to benefit others. Your talent doesn’t have to fit neatly into a traditional caring profession. Perhaps you like to garden; then you could teach children how to plant seeds. Maybe you delight in sewing; hospitals may need donations of caps for newborns. If you are homebound, you could make and send cards to others. The list, and the resulting satisfaction, is endless. If you want to have a happier life, heed the wisdom of Helen Keller: “True happiness is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.” Whatever purpose you choose, if it involves serving others, I can guarantee you will be living a more abundant life—you will be thriving, not merely existing.
Reflection:
1. What are ways you could help others, either with a specific skill such as baking, or simply by befriending them?
2. Have you identified your gifts? If not, there are many on-line surveys to help you identify your strengths. This is just one: https://www.lifeway.com/en/articles/women-leadership-spiritual-gifts-growth-service
* Radical Remission by Dr. Kelly Taylor